I WANNA KNOW YOUR NAME…..
8th December 2010
The weekend has come! You and your girlfriends decide it is time for a night out on the town. You enlist all of the friends you need to make THIS HAPPEN. For example, the friend that is driving you to your destination (I AM NEVER THAT FRIEND) The one that is going to hold the camera all night, AS WELL AS TAKE MOST PICTURES. The friend that is going to get just as blacked out as you are and last but not least: The friend that will some how some way be swept off her feet by some handsome thing. This is what were going to be discussing today.
LADIES- You DID NOT just spend two hours trying to evenly apply your liquid liner to not gain any male attention. GIRLS night- JUST MEANS YOU’RE GOING OUT TO SEE WHAT GUYS ARE GOING TO BE THERE. Let’s not waste anytime dancing around this. I am here to let you know, if you see a cute boy across the way/at the bar/going into the bathroom-IT IS QUITE ALRIGHT TO APPROACH HIM! Don’t just wait around all night for him to come up to you! Nervous? WHY?! Who the fuck cares, boys are just as/if not more nervous than you are!
This is how I handle the situation. I usually spot the boy that catches my attention and I get as close as I possibly can without it being considered illegal. I usually look right past them and kind of SHIMMY in front of them side to side. NOT TOURETTES SHIMMY RELAX. I mean like a subtle little, I don’t want to say dance move because I don’t want you all to break out in some CHOREOGRAPHED situation-NOTE-THAT WOULD BE A HOTT MESS! Almost as though your looking past him to someone else that you think you may recognize-SUBTLE SEARCHING WE’LL SAY-This is when he will be staring at you for a good minute and do one of two things: ASK YOU WHAT YOU’RE DOING? OR IF YOU NEED TO GET BY? This is when you slightly laugh and say: “Sorry I thought I knew that person.” Which he then will do one of three things- laugh along with you for a second,OFFER YOU A DRINK OR make some little comment about how “it happens to the best of us” or some WACK line like that. Frankly who gives a shit what he has to say-you’re not marrying the kid, you’re trying to spend the next two hours staring at something you find appealing. If he DOES NOT offer to buy you a drink, ORDER yourself one glance over and buy him one as well! Yes were in 2010 it’s fine. He will appreciate the gesture and it will be your recognition of him being such a good sport when you were up in his face-TRYING TO GET SOMEONE ELSE’ attention.
I promise you he will be intrigued and enjoy the free drink! You have already set yourself apart from the bitch who matched her purple top to her purple shoes to your left. Numbers-you don’t need to get his and who cares if he gets yours! If you do end up hitting it out of the park, numbers will be exchanged no problem. Just have a good time dance a little AND ALWAYS TAKE AT LEAST ONE PICTURE. Just so you have something to discuss during your RE-CAP.
NOTE- If some horrendous boy comes up to you and asks for your number, the easiest way to remove yourself from the situation is : GIVE HIM A NUMBER OF YOUR FRIENDS. This has happened to many a times and I often times give out my besty ROXY’S number, to which she calls me SCREAMING the next day. Trust me this is your best bet to get the creeper away from you as fast as possible.
NOTE#2-If some adorable boy does get your number and doesn’t call. BITCH HE IS NOT TRYING TO GET TO KNOW YOU! Please don’t kid yourself into thinking that your meeting the man of your dreams in a NIGHTCLUB. No it wasn’t different this time, please don’t set him apart! No boy is going out to scope out future girlfriend prospects. Their goal is to see what HOODRAT is going along with them to that after hours-THE ONE YOU SHOULD NOT BE AT.
GLAD we settled this.