4th February 2011
ONLY CHECK MY NEW SITE-
HEY Y’ALL - LET’S Not make this any longer of a read then we have to- I have totally been M.I.A and NO procrastination is N.E.C.E.S.S.A.R.Y
HI- I’M THE BIGGEST FUCKING TOOL EVER AND I TOTALLY LOOK LIKE A COMPLETE NEANDERTHAL. FACT FOOL FACT!!!!!!
- This one is sucha fucking loser I can’ttt with him. Random selection you might think, but in honor of boobsandloubs changing it up and BLOWINGUP -I might add - I couldn’t ignore the connection between this fool and our first I.C.W.T.B. —-TAYLOR DICK HUNGRY SWIFT- The fact that he canoodled with that ONE only allows me to dislike him even more, we’re not EVEN going to get into that rented R8 mess he was drivvinnngggg himself around it…
NOT THE LOOK HOMIE- NOT THE L.O.O.K!!!!!!!!!!!!!
UNTIL NEXT WEEK……………………….Taylor I’M OFF YOU
I KNOW~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!- I really can’t multi-task very well. Firstly ALL of your BOOB-MAIL as usual amazing, But I did want to mention very seriously that it is TOTALLY ok-that you address me as “MORG”! WE ARE TOTS on that level-and since so many of you seem to all start out your E-mails the same way- It is absolutely NECESSARY for me to let you know
I have been working like A DOG all weekend- WE should be totally on schedule by tomorrow and we can resume our TIPS-TRICKS N SHIT- dying to be back to normal.
T H A N K- Y O U for your patience-TRUST ME I AM FAR MORE ANXIOUS THAN ALL OF YOU.
IT’S BEEN A LOT-this am was rough- SUSAN IS MIFFED- STRAIGHT MIFFED that JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE has NOT propsed to JESSICA BIEL YET- In her MIND/DELUSIONS…she FEELS as though it is absolutely time that he “PUT UP OR SHUT UP ….RIGHT HERBERT?”
“YES SUZY” WHATEVER YOU SAY- OH YA? WEIRD——SHE IS “SUZY” TO HIM— BARF.
IT’S THE BEST WHEN SHE GETS PISSED AND SAYS “DON’T SUZY ME”
ANYWAY-BACK TO WORK-I’LL SEE YOU ALL TOMORROW FOR
I CAN’T WITH THIS BITCH.
M O R G
HEY HEY HEY how are MY BEST FRIENDSSSSS?!?!?!
NAME THAT MOVIE-
WEIRD -my face hurts- Probably because I went to bed at SIX AM-THAT’S the look.
Some late night pizza may or may NOT have been involved and maybe I threw in one or two fruit tarts- JUDGE/TALKABOUTIT/BIRTHDAYREALNESS- Fruit tarts aren’t just laying around on the reg-DON’T WORRY.
Along with the usual compulsive over eating issue I have-I have also determined I much rather be a man or a dog, sometimes I really just don’t want to fit into my fucking pants and I want to just be huge and eat and NOT SMALL TALK WITH YOU AT A PARTY.
My favorite part of last night was WHEN a friend of a friend was like “what happened” You looked SO good last time I saw you-SO BLONDE and…
UM? HMMM- I’M SORRY? -DID ANYONE ASK YOU?!!?!?!?!?!?!!!!!!!!!!!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!!?!?!?????????????????????
No I’m not going to waste any time filling you in on the hormonal roller coaster by body is on because of my PMS-but again WHOOOO FUCKING ASKKKED YOU
N.O.B.O.D.Y-AND LET ME TELL YOU-HOMEBOY IS NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT BRAD PITT/NOT EVEN BRAD PITTS DOUBLE-Wait NO I take that back I dont even think Brad is HOTT, he has bad botox going on.
HOMEBOY is NOOOOOOOOOOOOT JAKE Gyllenhaal.
Yeah I like that better.
ANYWHOZIES- I am going to spend my day in bed and probably work out MAYBE? sorta? Fuck?- I will probably be Blogging very SPORADICALLY (NAME THAT MOVIE)- because of all the fun changes #BOOBSANDLOUBS is undergoing.
Happy Saturday- BE SKINNY FOR ME!!!!
You definitely DON’T want to find yourself in a relationship where your boyfriend thinks he can get ROUGH with you. NO this is UNACCEPTABLE-Obviously I would like to think most of you agree with this. You never would/should allow anyone to put their hands on you in ANY WAY you are not OK with.
YES-super adorable to PLAY fight and wrestle around with your lover- but shit gets OUT.OF.HAND. VERY QUICKLY. Your sweet playful hitting and slapping along with the tugging of each others clothing- can end up with your OVERLY competitive boyfriend throwing you down and trying to aggressively get you to surrender and wave your little WHITE FLAG.
Clearly at this point he is ignoring your wishes/screams as he does NOT stop- Only fueling his his determination to WIN- BAM THEN the motherfucker grabs at what is SUPPOSED TO BE YOUR ENTIRE HAND- and “accidentally” manages to only take YOUR thumb with him, Leaving it broken (fractured) IN TWO places, causing you immense pain.
MOST IMPORTANTLY leaving you to have to wear a sort of transparent ceramic cast with a lovely satin (ish) BLACK-(Jesus christ it was SO bad) GLOVE (?!?!?!?) TO WEAR OVER IT- TO YOUR (MY) SENIOR PROM.
THIS IS NOT OUR FIRST RODEO- OBVIOUSLY EVERYONE AND ANYONE HAS AND WILL CONTINUE TO GET THEIR PROPER APPRECIATION ON BOOBSANDLOUBS FOR SHOUTING ME OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WAY OVERDUE BUT TODAY’S SHINE GOES TO -NICKY HILTON. No introduction is needed for any of you-BUT I will briefly explain the connection- NICKY being the OLDER sister of my friend BARRON and FIRST-COUSIN to my OLD FRIEND FARRAH-(Circa elementary school friendship)
SO it goes without saying HUGE THANK YOU!!!
Firstly- I AM FULLY UNDER THE WEATHER. My whole BODY HURTS -NECK/BACK/FATFUCK DIE- IMPATIENTLY waiting for my monthly gift-Mind you, for whatever reason I am a LEGIT SCIENCE PROJECT-The amount of Bloating that occurs for me is just absolutely not normal- it really must be some kind of fucking swiss thing Susan passed on, because my thighs and stomach and face and JOWLS AND FINGERS and toes and BOOBS are
I WANT TO DIE!!!!! Speaking of SUSAN she is M.O.R.T.I.F.I.E.D AT TUESDAY’S “I CAN’T WITH THIS BITCH” SHE DOESN’T “UNDERSTAND WHO RAISED ME” AND HOW I COULD “GO AFTER A CHILD” RELAX Susan- were all going to be OK-Not the first or last time anybody is gonna say anything about that little BITCH. #Nevertellingheragain #Poundsignsfixeverything
I did want to inform you- that BIG things are going on with #BOOBSANDLOUBS- I am so EXCITED- to share the transition with you over the next couple of days!!
HOOOT LOVES IT
BYEEE GOING TO BACKK TO BEDDD
OH DUH- transition back to blonde- we threw a couple highlights in the mix and BEACHED it out.
Oh the typical ON AND OFF relationship we all have been in/don’t want to be in/don’t know how not to be in. Two out of the Three relationships I have been in have been on and off. ON AND OFF spanning years-probably because we were more about being ON to just be able to be OFF- just so we can be ON again. I literally have a headache from writing that? LEGIT H.E.A.D.A.C.H.E
Being in one of these ON AND OFF relationships is extremely immature and a huge waste of your time. You want to be with somebody because you enjoy them/ and they add happiness to your life. YES happiness NOT stress and anxiety. This defeats the entire purpose of why you’re suppose to be with somebody in the first place. Why bother if he or you need a break every two months to RE-EVALUATE or to be able to have a little “SPACE”.
“SPACE” mind you is NOT so your significant other can run oatmeal baths and think about THE RELATIONSHIP- THEY JUST ASKED TO TAKE SPACE FROM-HELLOOOOOO-DON’T BE SO FUCKING STUPID PLEASE! Being able to experience being free without anything holding them back (YOU/YOUR RELATIONSHIP) is the purpose of space- to DETERMINE whether or not they are capable or truly WANT to roll SOLO.
I understand the whole lustful passion bit and you think it’s oh SO cute that you and your : baby/babe/sweety/muffin are just SO obsessed with one another that you just simply can’t part ways. (HOW MEAN AM I TODAY?) (PRE-MENSTRUAL/FAT/BLOATED/DIE)
Let.me.break.this.down- ALLOWING your significant other to come in and out of your relationship as he/she pleases is the same as allowing them to CHEAT on you and be forgiven. Once forgiven for something, the brain automatically stores it as being OK. The reason it’s so crucial to avoid being ON and OFF with your partner is simply because you get used to this pattern without even realizing it.
Unfortunately this is 100 percent FACT- and then one day? Guess what- THEY DON’T COME BACK and you’re left having to wonder and guess if this is REALLY IT? Could it really be? How do you really KNOW if it is over? YOU DON’T! Because you DON’T KNOW ANY BETTER. You EXPECT and WANT them to come back - you feel as if it’s owed to you- simply because you have been so flexible with allowing ALL THE SPACE TAKING. -IT.DOES.NOT.WORK.LIKE.THAT!!!!!!!!!!
I highly advise not placing yourself in these types of situations- It truly becomes an unnecessary emotional roller coaster- Only forcing you to analyze and RE-PLAY everything in your mind, only PROLONGING the HEARTACHE.